Calling in Sick [Okami/Wukong]

It had been a day like any other. The new Captain Commander, Tina Almenor, had been elected about a week or so ago, and previously had been the Captain of the Seventh Division. Wukong had been Lieutenant of the Fifth Division for about a month now, and apparently things hadn't been going very well. As Captain of the Seventh Division she could do nothing about it, but as Captain Commander, one of her very first decrees was to swap Wukong with Okami Shiba.

This wasn't chosen at random. Previously, the two of them had an established camaraderie and were known to be "friends" of a sort. While day in and day out the actual definition of their relationship could change, at the end of the day Okami was always trying to protect him and Wukong knew that, therefore considered them friends regardless of anything else. Apparently, Okami had been Vice Captain of the Eighth Division for hundreds of years or something, going back as far as replacing Sano Mazo or something? Wukong didn't understand the details, but he cared not for petty things like details.

The swap of Divisions had happened last week, but today was the special day on Wukong's calendar. It was kept right next to his bed in the barracks, which was the only bed he ever seemed to sleep in; while he'd fall asleep on benches, tree branches, a warm beam of sunlight on the grass, and anywhere else that caught his fancy, his bed in the barracks was his one true home since he'd become a Shinigami. The past week had sucked, having been forced to get used to a brand new bed because he was no longer a member of Division Five, but today was the special day.

Since they had already been considered friends, Wukong had been keeping track of their conjoined days off, as days where he can pull pranks on Okami all day long. They are few and far between but they are Wukong's favorite days. It had taken a lot of brain power and bananas to figure out Okami's schedule, but so far he hadn't been wrong. Unfortunately, now that they had swapped Divisions, he wasn't sure the day was still the special day anymore.

Getting out of bed, Wukong decided more research needed to be done. He attached his Zanpakutou to his hip and did nothing else to prepare himself for the day as the monkey man ventured out of the barracks to find Sano. As he was Sano's Lieutenant now, Sano Mazi was the only one who could determine Wukong's "days off". Division Five didn't have a Captain, which meant Wukong technically had every day off, but he was a good boy and worked for six of them and only took one day off a week. He couldn't be sure of Okami's schedule yet either, but was sure that something would work out.

Regardless, he found himself at Sano's door. He pondered for a moment, remembering their last encounter, before meekly knocking at the door and faking a cough as he did so. Upon receiving command to do so, Wukong entered the room and poorly attempted to feign sickness and an inability to accomplish his responsibilities today. It was then that he was told it was his day off anyway, and to stop faking it, so Wukong bowed with a smirk and ran out the door, leaving it open as he ran away.

Wukong had always woken up at nine a.m., apparently, as he had been handed an alarm clock by Okami one day, and being in Division Eight made no difference to his schedule. He did wake up groggier than usual due to lack of ability to fall asleep, but by now had shaken that off, and was fully awake and alert by the time he reached Division Five. Unfortunately, Wukong did not actually possess the ability to read a clock. He wore one on his left wrist, as a gift from Okami that one time, but he didn't actually know what the hell the symbols meant. He did notice that both of the little lines that always moved around were lined up and were pointing in the same direction, which was straight up when he angled it correctly. Unable to read the watch, he moved on and returned to finding Okami.

Wukong scoured the familiar barracks, looking around longingly at what was once his territory. His smell had already begun to fade, and he frowned. Eventually he reached his bed, and someone else was laying in it, and he initially went to freak out and beat the shit out of the guy, before realizing that it wasn't his bed anymore. Sighing, he returned to his search for Okami, determined to eventually find the poor man. He was well aware that Fifth Division didn't have a Captain and therefore meant that Okami was the only authority in the area.

Previously, before Wukong had been reassigned, back when all of this was his territory and he was all but Captain, the only person who ever seemed to stick around and take the Division as their personal problem was Tina Almenor. Ironic, Wukong would think if he understood the concept, that the same person would eventually go on to be Captain Commander, making ALL Divisions her personal problem. In the wake of her having been promoted to Captain Commander, Wukong had initially planned to celebrate, because it would mean she was too busy to bother him every day anymore, but as stated one of her very first decrees was to swap Okami and Wukong's positions. He didn't even get to celebrate that same day, unfortunately.

He wondered if Okami was busy doing that paperwork stuff Tina kept complaining about, or if he was relaxing and had the day off too, or if any other circumstance would come true. Adventurous in nature always, Wukong would press on with fervent desire to find out if he could rope Okami Shiba into Shenanigans once again.

Sitting at the desk of the Fifth Division's Lieutenant and groaning at the stacks of paperwork was one Okami Shiba. The sudden swap between himself and Wukong was going to kill him, he was sure. He'd met the little bastard shortly after he'd managed to join the Gotei, when he'd kicked the older Lieutenant in the balls just for asking if he was lost. After that had sparked a...friendship, he supposed, but half the time it felt more like the Shiba was just keeping an eye out for him and making sure he didn't get himself killed, or was the butt of one of the many pranks that the monkey was pulling. Honestly, he still wasn't sure whether or not the younger soul could read, and the sheer amount of paperwork that had built up was telling in that regard. The Fifth had been without a Captain for a while now, and so everything fell on whatever poor bastard held the position of second-in-command.

Hell, today was supposed to be the noble's day off.

He'd popped into the office for just a bit in order to check in, but couldn't bring himself to just leave the place like this. So, in an effort to ward off Wukong's traditional game of "Drag Okami Into More Trouble" he set a few traps around the office and got to it. He was just finishing up another report while keeping an ear out. Wukong's old bed had been filled with itching powder, which would totally suck if some random Shinigami decided to crash there. He'd made sure to wipe away his own scent as best he could and leave multiple false leads, one of which dropped into an oubliette he'd managed to get permission to build in the last couple of days. Finally, he had a simple snare set up outside the door with a Blue Java banana he'd managed to find at a merchant's stall in the middle. Blue-skinned, with a texture like ice cream and a flavor like vanilla custard. It was everything a growing simian could ask for, and he was hoping it gave him just a few brief moments of respite.

Another financial request was signed off on when he heard the patter of padded feet hitting the floorboards. Moving as slow as he could, Okami set everything where it needed to go, capped his bottle of ink, and put it and his brush away before bracing himself for whatever was about to happen.

Wukong had followed his nose and wound up in several closets, under people's beds, in multiple bathrooms, randomly down a hole that literally didn't exist a week ago (that took like 30m to climb out of btw, and he was kind of hurt), and decided screw this. He used Kaido to fix his wounds the rest of the way, unable to fix the cuts and tears in his outfit, but activated [Fiery Golden Eyes] which caused him to have vision so accute he could essentially see through walls. He glanced over instinctually at his bed, to make sure that Okami hadn't been literally hiding in it as the 'last place Wukong would check', and audibly laughed for a while at the realization that whoever had actually passed out in it, or been placed in it, or whatever, was currently freaking out about itching powder and was being sent to the Fourth Division to be treated.

After recovering, Wukong glanced around the Fifth Division barracks, looking at any and everything until he found.... Okami Shiba! There he was, sitting in the Captain's Office, the one place Wukong never went because it was the forbidden zone. But if Okami can go in there, so can Wukong! Unfortunately for the very slow-moving Okami, Wukong could see the snare trap in full detail despite its hidings, and was very careful in getting the neat-looking banana off of the trap and in his hands as he watched as Okami seemed to come to terms with the realization that Wukong Shenanigans were happening once again.

Kicking in the door, carefully not hard enough to cause damage but just annoying enough to be dramatic flair, Wukong began to peel the banana as he walked over to Okami. He took a bite of the banana and initially halted, then swallowed it whole and had a weird look on his face.

"Did you freeze this thing so it tasted like Ice Cream? That's so rude." He pouted, taking another bite of the banana before moving on and talking while he chewed. "Anyway, it's our day off, let's go! I got something fun planned, but it's gonna take us like... a bunch of hours to get there, but at least we'll be back before tomorrow!" He reached his hand out to Okami, hoping the poor man would simply take it and be whisked away to a world unfounded.

It seemed that his traps had at least worked in delaying the inevitable, much to Okami's relief as he'd managed to get a solid amount of work done in the time it took his friend to actually navigate the Fifth Division's various booby-trapped halls. He idly hoped that the monkey hadn't actually been injured at all, since that would put a bit of a damper on things, but ultimately he was sure the other Shinigami could handle whatever punishment he took. Finally, the door opened and he saw the teenaged menace eating the banana with an odd look and chastising him for modifying it somehow before ultimately moving on with his statement and declaring today to be one of adventure. Sighing, the Shiba rubbed his eyes and decided to just deal with one thing at a time, since he already knew he'd go along with it in the end. "No, I didn't freeze the banana. That kind just grow like that, and I figured it'd be a neat treat since you hadn't had one before as far as I knew."

Standing up and grabbing Tsukiakari Shojo before tucking the blade into his waistband, the Lieutenant just accepted the inevitable and reached his hand out, hesitating for a moment until he saw the evidence of recently-healed cuts and scrapes in his uniform. Ah, damn it. He might get exasperated, but now he felt guilty. So, he just grabbed hold without another thought and let Wukong drag him out of the office and off to whatever shenanigans they were bound to get themselves into this time, all while mentally preparing for whatever questions were going to be asked this time around.

Of course, as they went, the noble glanced over at the martial artist and hummed, his silver eyes thoughtful before a single word came out with a sigh. He'd probably overdone it, and he figured that his friend would know what it was about. No matter how annoyed Okami had gotten, he never really tried to purposefully hurt Wukong in a serious manner, training aside. "Sorry."

Didn't freeze the banana? Wukong straight up did not believe Okami. The "fact" that there apparently existed a type of banana which has a texture of ice cream was refuted by Wukong's brain, and immediately dragged out back to be shot by a trained firing squad. Therefore it did not exist within his brain, and he refused to believe Okami's truth. Regardless, the man had stood up and grabbed his things and the two were finally off on their way.

At some point, Okami said he was sorry, but Wukong had no idea what he was sorry for. Pulling pranks? Sure, Wukong hated the act of being on the receiving end of a prank, but he couldn't exactly find any harm in them, even the ones that caused minor injuries. If it weren't so minor that even Wukong could heal it with Kaido, then maybe an apology would be in order, but as it stood, Wukong didn't understand the man's apology and just shrugged it off, continuing to pull the man's arm out of his socket as the two basically ran towards the gate of Seireitei.

Apparently at some point Wukong had lost the muster in his movement, as he was no longer pulling Okami's arm out. Maybe he'd complained, maybe Wukong got tired, who knew? Regardless, the two were currently in District 23 of Southern Rukongai. Wukong had only really stopped because a smell had caught his attention; he recognized it to be Banana Chili, a delicacy that few recognized as being as good as it was. He really, really wanted to stop for a bowl....

"Hey, Okami, how about a bowl of Chili?" He pointed to the place the attractive smell came from, which happened to be a food vendor on the street of Rukongai with no cover or anything to sit on; just empty bowls and a big ol pot of chili, which Wukong was fairly sure had bananas in it.

Wukong's stomach rumbled audibly, and he couldn't help but smile as he appreciated the backup in his argument, but he wasn't going to protest too much if Okami said they were on limited time, as he did have an actual schedule to keep, it was just loose and would have them home by tomorrow's work hours at the latest.

Okami huffed out a chuckle as Wukong continued to yank his arm along, their status as superpowered spirits of a caliber higher than "jobber" likely the only reason that it hadn't been entirely ripped off in the process. Of course, the monkey wouldn't think anything of it and just brush off an apology. It was just the way the younger soul worked, and so he just moved on and decided to strangle him later through an official channel without thinking the details over too much. Once his arm had been let go, he flexed his bicep and shoulder for a moment to get feeling back into it while slowing down. He wasn't sure WHY they'd started at a more reasonable pace, but if he had to guess his companion was just getting distracted.

This was, of course, proven to be at least marginally correct as the immortality-seeking fool looked over at the noble and asked if he wanted a bowl of chili from a stand. Shrugging and gesturing for him to lead the way, he collected a bowl and left a few kan on the table to pay for the two of them. Taking a bite the Shiba was taken a bit aback by the flavor, but the sweet of the banana worked well with the rest of the chili, the spice mixing in just the right way. Was it something he'd ever think to order? Probably not, but it was definitely on his radar now...not that he'd tell Wukong that.

Looking over at the simian with silver eyes sparkling with mischief, even as he affected a tired expression and spooned the last of his chili into his mouth and set the bowl back on the stall to be reused, he hummed a bit and put on a show of exasperation and got ready to keep moving at whatever pace was dictated. "So, do I actually get to know where we're going this time, or is it another surprise?"

It was, at least, a valid question. The last surprise place he'd been taken to was a festival in the World of the Living that he was pretty sure was one of the better pranks that Wukong had pulled on him. He'd managed to smuggle a couple of gigai and enter Okami into Kochi Prefecture's Rice Wine Festival, where he was forced to drink half a gallon of local sake, and then keep drinking as some sort of sake ambassador. He wasn't entirely the most familiar with the tradition, and his friend was clearly no help at all, so in the end he'd been stuck proving that he had one hell of a liver over the course of three days before managing to escape back to the Seireitei.

The monkey was lucky he could hold his damn liquor.

The two of them collected their bowls of chili, and Wukong watched Okami place a few kan on the counter. Remembering his recent exchange with the Captain of the Seventh Division, Hyoroshi Iwamura, Wukong pointed at the kan on the counter and laughed slightly, then explained himself to Okami.

"Oh, right, I'm still waiting on this week's paymenting so I can payment back Captain Iwamura. How come you never told me the metals were worth anything? I've been giving those away for years!" He laughed again, having finished his story, and turned his total attention to the bowl of Chili in his hands. A single bite was slowly placed into Wukong's mouth, and if Okami were studying him, he'd be bearing witness to the first time he'd ever known Wukong to savor the taste of something. Seconds later, normalcy returned as the entire bowl was scarfed down without so much as stopping for air.

Wukong was done eating before Okami was, and was rubbing his stomach with a happy face as Okami placed his bowl on the counter, the two heading off again towards their destination for the day. However, Okami asked this time where they were going, and Wukong giggled again when he remember the last 'surprise' he took Okami on, which was also his very first trip to the Living Realm. He hadn't had much time to explore it like he wanted to, but he got to play the best prank yet on Okami.

"Well... surprises are more fun!" He smiled, facing Okami as he walked backwards, hands behind his head. "Nah, I'm just playin with ya. I'll tell you where we're going." He turned back around, continuing to lead Okami on their path as he pointed in the direction they were walking. Okami wouldn't see anything immediately in front of them, but Wukong would comment again to explain himself. "Home." If Okami attempted to ask anything else, Wukong would simply laugh and break into a sprint; otherwise, the two would simply continue on their leisurely pace.

Eventually, they arrived at District 66. The sun had already crested hours ago, and was on its slow descent downward. The ambiance had shifted from casual and jolly to sinister and malevolent. The pair were about halfway through the District when Wukong stopped walking forward, placing his hands into his pockets and simply waiting.

Okami, who was a Noble born into Seireitei, would likely not notice why Wukong had stopped. Wukong, however, came from the outskirts of Rukongai, and had to fight his way to Seireitei to even become a Shinigami in the first place. He had noticed the seven individuals who were strategically positioned to prove annoying to the two Shinigami. If they walked forward, they'd walk straight into an ambush; and while Wukong didn't genuinely think that either himself or Okami were in any danger, he didn't want to cause problems for Division Seven either.

"How about you guys just look the other way for a few minutes, let us pass, and we can all just move past this?" With [Fiery Golden Eyes], he could see all seven of them looking at each other before they all turned around. Wukong, wasting no time, grabbed Okami's hand once again and tore ass to drag him past the ambush spot. "Thanks guys! Good luck in your ambush!" He stated as he ran by them, continuing to drag Okami until the pair were a good eight or nine hundred feet away. At that point, he'd ease up off the gas again, and pat Okami on the back to make sure he was okay.

"You good? South 66 is notorious for ambushing Shinigami and residents alike. It's just gonna get worse from here on out, but I'm pretty sure you're at least as strong as I am, so we can take it. I made it to Seireitei when I was barely 50 years old; I'm sure we can make it back to my home without issue!" Assuming Okami was on board, the two would then begin once again heading towards the outskirts of Rukongai, further and further from Seireitei.